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There are a number of interview documents and guidelines that have been written over the years to help slaves and submissives interview prospective Dominants, Masters and Mistresses. These focus on helping the s types decide if the M-type is safe, honourable, and sometimes if they will be a good fit with the s type so that a relationship is possible. I have not found the same sorts of guidelines and interview documents for M types yet this is just as important. I was asked by Pharaoh Khaf-Ra what questions I would use hence this document.

I tried to be thorough but I am sure there are missing questions so it is a work in progress. What is important it that the M type can get a good sense of the s-type’s:

Vision of M/s relationships
Theory of Mastery
Theory of submission
Practice of submission
What previous M/s relationships have looked like
What has worked in relationships and what hasn’t
What their submission language is (post on this to follow – It is my adaptation of love languages)?
Relationship style
Hard limits
Life goals – short, medium, long term
State of their current life

  1. What is your understanding of an M/s relationship?
  2. In your view, what are the responsibilities of the slave in an M/s relationship?
  3. How do these differ in a D/s relationship?
  4. In your view, what are the responsibilities of the Master/Mistress in an M/s relationship?
  5. How do these differ in a D/s relationship?
  6. Tell me about any experience you have had with M/s in the past.
  7. What is your understanding of service?
  8. What is your sexual orientation?
  9. Is your slave identity connected to your sexual orientation? (E.g. Do you need to surrender in order to feel sexually satisfied)
  10. Do you have a gender preference when it comes to your surrender?
  11. Have you ever served more than One at the same time?
  12. Are you polyamorous?
  13. How do you see polyamory and your surrender intersecting?
  14. Are you looking for a romantic relationship with your Master/Mistress?
  15. What things help you to stay in your surrendered mindset/headspace? (Rituals, words, deeds, commands?) (This question may not be able to be answered if the slave is not aware as to what they respond most to – words, deeds/actions, rituals, commands. Are they visual, auditory, olfactory etc…)
  16. What other relationships are you in at present?
  17. Do you have children? If so, how old are they and how are they looked after?
  18. Do you want to have children in the future?
  19. Do you expect sexual activity to be part of your service?
  20. What are your hard limits:
    a. In play
    b. For sex
    c. Practical issues (cannot move from where located for example)
  21. How much management do you prefer? Do you expect to be told what to wear, for example, or what to eat?
  22. What does your support network look like?
  23. Are you connected with other submissives and/or slaves?
  24. Is there any drama in your life at present? Unfinished business with x’s for example?
  25. Do you have any health issues? What sort of treatment? What physical limitations do you have if any?
  26. Do you have any mental health issues? What sort of treatment?
  27. Do you have known triggers?
  28. Would you say you play well with others?
  29. Do you identify as leather?
  30. What kind of work do you do?
  31. Are you seeking to move forward in your career? Your education?
  32. Are you expecting to live with your Owner/s now or in the future?
  33. Do you have spiritual beliefs?
  34. If so, what kind of spiritual practice do you engage in?
  35. Are there limitations on you as a result of your spiritual practice or beliefs?
  36. Are you out to your family? At work? Friends?
  37. Do you get along with your family of origin?
  38. What is your main love language?
  39. How do you resolve conflict?
  40. What do you find punishing or aversive?
  41. If you have had previous M/s relationships, what was good about them? What didn’t work? Why did they end? Are references available?

These, of course, are only samples that could be used, and that the M-type or D-type can tailor it to their needs when entering into a negotiating periods, based on how their House dynamics are constructed.

Morloki’s jewel (Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey)

Fendragon Pack

LHOCC Member House